Destroyed
by Exira Young
Summary: The crew has been reunited and they learn the hard way that Luffy isn't the same and is in need of their help to get on the road to recovery.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone! I'm new here so I'd appreciate some constructive criticism. I should also let you know that these chapters won't ****follow a specific timeline so be prepared to have them jump around all over the place. I'll take suggestions too. **

The crew had only been back together for two months when Brook stumbled upon his captain tearing at the scar that marred his chest. Blood ran down his hands, arms, and stomach. It pooled together around his knees where he sat on the deck instead of on his special seat.

"Luffy-san! Luffy-san, you need to stop!" Brook cried, running forward in desperation, grabbing his captain's hands firmly. Luffy fought back against him, silent tears streaming down his face and an empty look filling his gaze.

"Get off! Let me go!" Luffy cried out, his voice weak and broken sounding. Brook's heart- the heart he believed he no longer had- shattered into a million pieces as he listened to his captain's weak protests and stared into a gaze that was empty looking. Shivers ran down his spine; he recognized that look. That was the same look _he_ had worn before Luffy had found him two years ago. Before they had been separated and Luffy had gone through all this _pain_ that he now wore in plain sight.

"Please, Luffy-san. Please come back to me and let me help," Brook begged. The empty look did not leave Luffy's eyes. Tears did not stop running down his cheeks. Brook felt his own tears begin as a feeling of helplessness washed over him. How could he- the crewmate that had only been a part of the crew for a few months before he had been sent away- be of any help to the boy who had accepted him without even talking to him?

Brook thought and thought about what he could possibly do. He was not Zoro who could tell Luffy that everything was okay by placing a hand on his shoulder. He was not Sanji who only had to cook his captain a meal to let him know that he was safe. He was not Nami who could hand him her treasure to let him know that he himself was treasured. He was not Usopp who could weave beautiful stories to relieve Luffy of his pain. He was not Chopper who knew how to heal wounds, no matter how deep. He was not Robin who could read to Luffy or sprout extra arms that would wrap him in a warm embrace. He was not Franky who could invent new things for his captain to play with.

He was _Brook. _All he could do was play his music.

The realization of what he could do slapped him in face almost as soon as that thought raced through his mind. Of course. He could play _his _music.

Brook hesitantly released Luffy's hands and nearly sobbed in relief when they did not go back to his chest. He pulled out his violin and began to play, tears still running and only speeding up when Luffy's blank look slowly disappeared to reveal confusion and pain. Brook was not sure if the pain was because of what he had done to himself or because of the memories that had raced through his mind but he did not care. No, he was happy that his captain came _back. Back _from the ones who had hurt him and _back _from the memories that threatened to destroy him.

"Brook?" Luffy whispered and his voice was no longer broken. It was confused and warm. Brook finished his song and pulled Luffy into a strong hug, not caring if his clothes were being ruined by Luffy's still dripping blood.

"It's okay, Captain. I'm here," Brook whispered and that was all Luffy needed to hear. Luffy wrapped Brook up in a tight hug of his own and let his tears fall for the first time in nearly two years.

They stayed like that for nearly two hours; the musician holding his captain in an embrace that promised that all would be well as long as they were together. Then Brook pulled away and began to play the violin again. When the others woke up and saw him, Luffy, and the blood, cries had risen along with eyebrows and more tears. And when Brook told them what happened in private after lunch, pain had erupted in each of their chests. Why?

They had been reminded that they were not there for their captain when he needed them most. Not two years ago and not last night.

And it destroyed them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, like I said earlier, the chapters won't all be in order. This scene isn't like it was in the anime either, just something I thought should've happened. Again, criticism and suggestions welcome! ******

If anyone had asked Nami at that moment what she was feeling when she laid eyes on her captain for the first time in two years, she wouldn't have been able to give an answer for she herself was not able to fully distinguish all of her feelings. She knew that there was relief, happiness, love, and excitement. Yes, she knew for certain that those feelings were there immediately. But as she looked at him, _really looked_, at her captain, she felt herself stop breathing because she saw how he was haunted by demons that had not been there before. She saw how Luffy had matured and how shadows stalked his eyes- the eyes that had always been filled with hope and utter contentment- and a new feeling emerged deep in her heart.

Nami felt _pain. _

This was not a normal pain. No, this was the type of pain that ripped her apart and spit her out thousands of times in a matter of thirty seconds. This was the type of pain that threatened to pull her under and never release its hold. It was the type of pain that could only be felt by those who knew what it felt like to lose somebody. It was the type of pain that Nami had hoped she would never have to feel again and it confused her. Why would she be feeling it when she looked at Luffy?

The answer came to her when Luffy looked her in the eyes. With a quick intake of breath and the tell-tale stinging of tears in her eyes, Nami launched herself at Luffy so quickly she startled herself and a few of her crewmates. She latched onto him and buried her head in his neck, tears racing down her cheeks in a way they hadn't since she had watched Luffy bring down Arlong Park and suddenly she knew. She _knew _that Luffy- the childish, adorable, charismatic Luffy- was gone. He had been killed along with his brother in that awful war that her and her crewmates hadn't been able to be a part of and a new Luffy- a dark, sorrowful, _shattered _Luffy- had taken his place.

Nami felt that pain because she had lost the boy who had always worn a smile brighter than the sun.

And it destroyed her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello again! I just wanted to say THANK YOU to ****_atemina91_****, ****_zorchide, Perisha, FlightWulf, and Pixelizedmario _****for favoriting this story and following it/me. I also wanted to say thanks to ****_Pixelizedmario_**** for reviewing. I appreciate it! :) For some reason, I have a really hard time writing Zoro so I hope I did okay with this chapter. **

Zoro's eye snapped open. It was pitch black and completely silent aside from the sound of waves beating against Sunny and the breathing of his crewmates. Nothing moved in the darkness and he knew there were no intruders on board. It seemed that nothing was wrong.

But if that was the case, then why did Zoro feel so uneasy? What had woken him up? He laid quietly for another few seconds before he heard a sound so quiet he nearly missed it.

It was the sound of one of his nakama whimpering. Zoro shot up, hands already reaching for his katanas as he tried to figure out which crewmate had made such a noise. It was with a jolt that he realized it was Luffy and it was with an even bigger jolt that Zoro absorbed the fact that Luffy was _crying _in his sleep.

His hand dropped from his blades and he launched himself out of the hammock before he realized he was doing it. He grabbed Luffy's wrist, hoping it would summon the boy from his nightmares. It didn't. Luffy only whimpered again and then he cried out. It wasn't loud enough to wake the others but it sounded like a cannon going off to Zoro.

Which was why he scooped Luffy up bridal style and carried him out onto the deck, unconsciously squeezing his captain in a reassuring way whenever he made another noise. He sat himself down and gently laid Luffy in his lap, fingers absently running themselves through his raven black hair.

"Please...stop…" Luffy choked out and Zoro's eye snapped down to his face, worry pinching his features. He made a move to shake Luffy but his wrist was suddenly stuck in a vise-like grip. Luffy's hand was wrapped around it, squeezing tightly. Zoro pulled away but it only seemed to make his captain all the more agitated.

"Luffy. Luffy you need to wake up. Whatever's going on, it _isn't real. _You're back on Sunny with your nakama, Luffy. You're safe," Zoro whispered and Luffy's eyes shot open. Tears raced down his cheeks as his eyes snapped from Zoro to the wrist he was holding. With a small cry, he dropped it and jumped out of Zoro's lap.

"Z-Zoro?" he asked quietly and Zoro nodded, slowly getting to his feet.

"Yeah it's me, Cap. I'm here," he answered, reaching out to place a comforting hand on Luffy's shoulder only to freeze when Luffy recoiled away from his touch.

"That's the problem, Zoro. You're here with me," he whispered and Zoro's brow knit in confusion. Why was that a bad thing? Luffy seemed to read his confusion and an involuntary sob escaped his mouth.

"I'll be the death of you someday, Zoro. All of you," he whispered and Zoro felt himself stumble back in shock and realization. Luffy had not been dreaming about Ace's death or the two years he spent alone. He had been dreaming about _their_ deaths. About not being strong enough to save them. He knew that was Luffy's biggest fear.

Zoro also knew it was not an irrational fear. As pirates, each day was a fight for their lives. He knew that they could die at any moment. He knew that Luffy would not always be there to save them.

He knew that Luffy knew that too. No matter how much Luffy seemed like an idiot, he was a genius when it came to his nakama and fighting. Luffy knew that not every battle could be won and the day any of them lost one was the day one of them died. There was nothing in the world that could change that.

And it was the knowledge that his captain knew this and had nightmares about it that destroyed Zoro.

Because he knew that nothing he could ever say or do would change the facts that were staring them both in the face.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone! So sorry to keep you all waiting so long for this chapter but I had such a hard time with Franky! I couldn't really come up with anything for anyone else either, so I apologize. I promise I will be updating more frequently from now on, though, so please don't be too angry! **

**I don't know how this chapter turned out. I feel like it's really horrible but no matter how much I try to rewrite it, it always ends up like ****this, so I hope you enjoy it at least a little bit! Like always, reviews and suggestions are accepted! **

Franky was getting worried. A giant fluttering mess of butterflies in his stomach made it hard for him to pay attention to the others and eat and he knew he was earning himself more than a few worried glances. He didn't pay them any attention. He was too busy trying to figure out _why_ the butterflies were there.

It hit him like a freight train (and he knew all too well what getting hit by a train felt like) and he couldn't stop the sharp intake of breath that followed his moment of realization.

Luffy hadn't made a single scratch on the ship for nearly four whole days. Normally, this would have made Franky extremely happy. But now?

Now it served as a reminder that Luffy still had not healed from the war and loss of his brother. Not even after two years and being reunited with his nakama. His mind flashed back to the night that they had found Luffy sleeping in Brook's lap, blood pooled around them, and he cringed. No. Luffy had not had the _time _or _circumstances _to heal. He had suffered defeat after defeat in the matter of _days. _He had lost his nakama, his brother, his _childhood_, in days. One blow after another without any time to heal.

Franky did not know what his captain had been doing after he had sent the message that they were to wait two years to see him again, nor did he know who he spent his time with. All he knew was that that person or those people had kept Luffy from going insane and hurting himself. Luffy had told them all that much.

Hearing those words had struck a cord in them all. However, it struck a symphony of cords in Franky.

Franky was a shipwright and inventor. He had once thought that he was able to fix anything and everything. That thought had mostly been destroyed when Tom had been taken away but there was still a small part of him that still believed that. Then Luffy had said those words and it was then that he realized.

Yes, Franky was a shipwright. Yes, he may become the best shipwright in the world someday. Yes, he could fix and build many, many things.

This did not mean he could fix _everything. _Luffy was a prime example for that. Because no matter how much Franky worked on him or gave him new toys, Franky knew he would never be able to fully mend his captain's shattered heart.

Luffy had reminded Franky that there were some things in the world that just _could not _be repaired no matter how much you tried or wished.

And it was this realization and knowledge that destroyed Franky.


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay here's another chapter everyone! I'm not sure how I feel about this one and Sanji may be a little OOC but I have a hard time writing him interact with the males on the ship. I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint you all too much and I'll see you the next ****time I post. (Which will probably be sometime this weekend if I get my way.) **

Sanji was feeling uneasy for a reason unidentifiable to himself. The sky was clear, Nami was not fussing over any possibility of a sudden storm, the girls were safe, nobody was annoying him, and his cooking was coming along perfectly, like usual. So what was this feeling that told him that not all was well within the comfort of the ship?

It took all of ten seconds for Sanji to realize what it was and another twelve for him to stop cursing and rush out of his sacred kitchen toward the captain quarters.

"Oi, shitty captain! You in there?" he called as he pounded on the door. It had only been a few short weeks since Luffy had moved into the room, claiming that he didn't want to keep waking them all up with his murmured nightmares and soft tears.

There was no answer from behind the door and Sanji almost walked away to go search elsewhere, allowing a flame of hope to ignite in his chest- a flame that was quickly extinguished when an almost inaudible whimper reached his ears. Heart clenching and teeth grinding together, Sanji ripped back around to face the door and with one swift kick, had the door open.

He froze at the scene that befell him.

Luffy stood at the small sink in the corner of his room tearing at his hands, muttering under his breath and tears streaming down his face.

Sanji felt sick and horrified. He unconsciously clenched his own hands into fists, feeling as if he could feel the pain Luffy must be feeling.

"...monster...blood...dead…" Sanji heard Luffy mutter and his eyes opened wide. He rushed forward and wrenched his hands away from each other, harshly turning the boy to face him.

"What the _hell _do you think you are doing?!" he bit out and Luffy flinched before turning those sad, broken, empty eyes up and him and this time, Sanji flinched. He did not, however, loosen his hold on the boy's wrists.

"Killed him, Sanji. My fault," he whispered and he sounded so _broken _that Sanji felt tears prick his own eyes.

"It was not your fault, Luffy. You did everything you could," Sanji told him, looking down when he felt his hands grow steadily warmer. He blinked once when he saw his hands were coated with blood- _Luffy's _blood_-_ and he briefly thought he understood what Luffy had been muttering about.

"Didn't move. Jumped in front of me," Luffy whispered back and Sanji felt his heart stutter and shatter. This was the most amount of information any of them had gotten about _his _death. Sure, they had heard other bits and pieces, but nothing about _that. _

"Listen to me, Luffy. Whatever happened was _not your fault. _You need to come back, Luffy. Come back to your nakama," Sanji whispered and Luffy blinked once, twice, three times at him before his eyes cleared and filled with confusion and no small amount of pain.

"Sanji? What- what's going on?" he murmured before his eyes trailed to his hands and the blood that flowed from them.

"Nothing. You're okay now, Luffy. I'm here," Sanji muttered back and he saw Luffy's eyes widen because they both knew that he wasn't talking about right now. Luffy's eyes filled with tears and he threw himself into Sanji, effectively stunning and startling Sanji.

"I'm sorry Sanji. It hurts so much though," he muttered and Sanji knew that he wasn't talking about what he had just done either. But for the sake of normality and comfort, Sanji pretended he was.

"Come on, idiot captain. Lets go get Chopper to bandage your hands and I'll fix you a snack."

Luffy only hummed in response against Sanji's chest and Sanji led Luffy out of the bloody room and into the bright sunlight where the rest of their nakama did their own things, unaware of the pain their captain had just inflicted upon himself and the small secret he had revealed in a moment of extreme weakness.

And it was the knowledge that secret brought that destroyed him.


	6. Chapter 6

**So I obviously didn't get my way and didn't get to update over the weekend. Sorry about that. Here's the new chapter though! I hope you all like it. Chopper and Luffy may seem a little OOC here, sorry about that. I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint anyone too much though. **

**Okay, now I have a question for all of you. What should I do for Usopp and Robin? I can't seem to come up with any ideas for those two. I'd appreciate it if you guys would give me some suggestions. **

**Oh, two more questions. Should I extend the story so it isn't just the Strawhats but others they've met along the way, enemies and allies alike or no? Then, after I finish Usopp and Robin, should I go back and repeat some of the Strawhats? Do some of them twice or group a couple of them together or something? **

**Answers and feedback are greatly appreciated. Sorry for such a long author's note but I really had to ask these questions!**

It had been snowing for awhile when the Strawhats docked at the new island. Brook, Usopp, Franky, and Chopper had had a wonderful time playing around on the snow that gathered on the deck while Sanji fixed warm drinks for the girls and Zoro trained in the men's quarters. Nami and Robin had been in their own room, quietly discussing the upcoming island and the dangers it may or may not pose. And Luffy? He sat on his special seat, wearing his usual garments, his shirt fluttering in the small breeze. He stared off at nothing with a deep-seated longing buried deep in his eyes.

Chopper was the first-and only-one to notice. He and the others had grown quite cold and had decided to go to the kitchen to beg Sanji for cups of hot chocolate and cola and perhaps a warm bowl of soup. This was when they realized that Luffy had not been with them but Brook, Usopp, and Franky had all figured he was with Zoro and thought it best to leave them in peace.

Chopper, however, remembered the small pact the eight of them had made in secret shortly after Luffy's incident with Sanji.

"_You should have told me right away, Sanji! The wounds could have become infected!" Chopper screeched as he shut the infirmary door behind him as he exited, leaving Luffy to his sleep. _

"_Sorry Chopper. I just didn't know how to tell you all. Will he be alright?" Sanji replied, biting down softly on his cigarette. _

"_Physically, yes. Mentally? I'm not so sure. I can't imagine what it was like for Luffy and I'm scared. He's becoming a danger to himself when he's alone. I wish there was something we could do," Chopper murmured with a resigned sigh, fighting to keep his tears at bay. _

"_Perhaps there is, Doctor. What if one of us was with him at all times? He wouldn't be able to harm himself then," Robin suggested and Chopper paused for a moment. _

"_It could work. I don't know how we'll keep our eyes on him all day though," he answered and Nami spoke up. _

"_We could form a schedule. If we each watch him for six hours in a constant rotation, we should be fine. Two people could start taking watch together. And there doesn't have to be just one person watching him at all times, either. Just as long as everyone gets their six hours in and he's never alone, it'll be fine, right?" _

"_I believe so, Navigator. Is this okay with the rest of you?" Robin asked and everyone agreed before placing their hands on top of each other's and promising to fulfill this new duty to their best ability. _

Chopper couldn't remember who's turn it was, all he was aware of was the fact that he could smell Luffy and he was alone. Turning quickly, he let his nose guide him to where Luffy sat and felt his heart stutter as he saw small tear tracks on his face.

"Luffy?" Chopper whispered quietly and he turned, a small nostalgic smile on his face. He didn't seem to be all there.

"Ace used to hate the snow. Said it was too cold. He used to hate it when I play in it and tease him for being a baby," Luffy whispered. Chopper felt tears prick at his own eyes as he figured out why his captain hadn't been playing with them like he usually did.

"Luffy…" Chopper started, unsure of how to continue. But he didn't have to. Luffy jumped down from his spot with a small blink, reacting to his nakama's sadness. He put himself back together and kneeled next to Chopper.

"I'm sorry I didn't play with you. Lets eat and then we can make some snowballs and thrown them at Zoro!" he exclaimed with a reassuring smile on his face. Chopper barely held back a sob. Here Luffy was, being reminded of the days of old in the most painful of ways, and he was comforting him. It should have been the other way around. But Chopper nodded and let Luffy pull him away before Luffy paused and gave a small whisper.

"I really do want to play with you guys, Chopper. I'm sorry I've been acting so weird. I just...It hurts, Chopper. It hurts so much and I don't know what to _do," _Luffy whispered and Chopper's hooves flew to his mouth before he launched himself into Luffy.

"Luffy...I'm so sorry!" he cried and latched himself around Luffy's neck, sobs wracking his small body for he knew that there was no medicine, no treatment, in the world for Luffy. He was a broken man who had watched someone he loved die in his arms and nothing could ever repair that.

It was this knowledge and Luffy's revelation that destroyed Chopper.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey everyone. Sorry this update took so long but I was having a really hard time writing this. I just can't seem to write Usopp the way that I want to. I really don't feel confident about this chapter but I can't write anything better for Usopp at the moment so it'll do for now. I will be revisiting him later though. **

**So Robin will be next. Any suggestions for what I should do for her? Then I think I'll do Marco and Hancock. Maybe throw in a little Shanks, Makino, and Dadan? Vivi maybe? *Shrugs* Not entirely sure yet but as soon as I figure it out, I'll post a little list in the order my chapters will go. **

**Without further ado, I give you Usopp and Luffy. **

It started out as a sunny afternoon for the Strawhats. Sanji was cooking in his kitchen, daydreaming about his female crewmates, Franky was inspecting the ship for damage, Brook was playing his violin softly as he soaked in the sunlight, Robin was reading a new book, Nami was tending to her treasure, Chopper was studying his medical books next to Robin, an umbrella above his head to block the hottest rays of the sun, and Zoro was training in his usual spot.

Usopp and Luffy had been a short distance away from the rest of them, sitting on the railing, fishing rods in their hands. They had been sitting in mutual silence, both content with each other's presence, before Usopp realized his mistake of not talking to Luffy. Before he could do anything however, Luffy spoke.

"Ace used to bring me out fishing. Except he was never very patient and sucked so instead we would fight and look at the stars," Luffy smiled, his eyes signaling that he was not with them, but in the past. His words surprised them all and suddenly there were soft little sounds from where everyone was sitting or standing.

There was the sound of a book dropping from Robin's hands, Chopper's little squeak of surprise, the sound of Brook hitting multiple wrong notes, Franky dropping his hammer. Then there was the sound of Nami dropping her treasure and breaking glass when Sanji dropped the cups of some drink he had been carrying to the girls. There was the thunk of Zoro dropping his weights and muffled cursing as the drinks had been spilled on top of him, as Sanji had coincidentally been standing right next to him when Luffy spoke.

Usopp fell off of the railing and onto his back on the deck, barely holding back his own squeak of surprise and pain. His captain had not looked back at any of them and Usopp realized that he didn't hear or see them anymore. He was absorbed in the memories that rose from the murky depths of his brain and it would take a good amount of time to bring him back.

Usopp also knew he couldn't let Luffy go on about his brother and their past bonding times. He had to put a stop to that before the present caught up with him again. The problem was how to go about doing that. He knew his crewmates could not do so because they were all still recovering from their own shock. But there was one thing Usopp knew he could do.

He was a liar and storyteller just as much as he was a coward and sniper. Yes, he was well aware of what he needed to do. He was also aware of the fact that lying to his captain in a time of such vulnerableness would cause him no small amount of pain.

But really, what did that matter in the face of his captain's agony?

"Haha! Have I ever told you about the time where I rescued the king of the stars?!" he exclaimed, placing a brave front on his face as his crewmates turned to stare at him incredulously. Luffy's head snapped back to look at him sharply, awe lighting up his features.

As Usopp weaved his story and lies, Luffy's mind slowly brought itself back to the present but amazingly, did not stop on the memories of his brother's death. Instead, it rushed to catch up to Usopp's story, effectively cheering him up and filling him with wonder and amazement. And then his story ended and the others glanced at each other, understanding written across their features.

Luffy laughed once, a joyous sound, and then popped off of the railing and onto the deck next to Usopp, sticking a hand out to lift Usopp up. He took it gratefully and then Luffy was bounding away, yelling about how hungry he was. Usopp stared after him with a mixture of relief and guilt before Zoro came up next to him. Together, they watched their captain as he flung himself into the kitchen, Sanji hot on his heels.

"He'll get mad at you if you keep this up, you know. He won't like the fact that you're causing yourself guilt and pain for his sake," Zoro stated and Usopp let out a shuddering sigh.

"I know. I'll handle that bridge when I get there, though," he replied and Zoro gave him a small stare before sighing in resignation.

"It'll destroy you, Usopp."

"I know. But I'm okay with that as long as he stays happy," Usopp whispered and Zoro shook his head once before walking away and plopping down onto the ground.

Usopp watched his nakama continue with what they were doing before Luffy had fled to the past with sad eyes. He knew he would not come off of this path of lies and stories unscathed. Luffy would be furious with him but he knew he would be able to handle his anger as long as he continued his slow path of healing.

But there was a small part of Usopp that knew that no matter how long they continued to provide him with love and special care, Luffy would never completely heal and they would always have to watch as Luffy broke time and time again. And no amount of story-telling or lies would fix that.

Usopp also knew that no matter how much he lied to himself, no matter how many times he told himself that Luffy was strong and would bounce back from his pain, it would never happen.

It was the knowledge that his lies would no longer protect him and Luffy that destroyed Usopp that day.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello again! Sorry for the long wait but I had a really tough time with this chapter. I know it isn't an excuse, but it's the truth. I feel like Robin and Luffy were too OOC in this so I hope I don't disappoint anyone too much with this chapter. **

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed and has hearted/followed this story. It means a lot to me! So what should I do for my next chapter? Do you guys wanna see everyone with Luffy as he tells his story (which I won't write out because I won't do it justice and because it's so heartbreaking, so you'll mainly be getting reactions as he finishes talking) or do you wanna see another character? If you wanna see another ****character, who do you guys wanna see really bad? **

Robin had been keeping a close eye on her captain for the past few weeks, worry and sadness churning away at her stomach. She had seen him suffer so much in such a little amount of time that she wondered how he hadn't gone insane yet, because really, anyone else would have. Was it because he used to be so strong? Or perhaps because of his stubbornness? Or, and this thought was the one that dampened her spirits so much it took hours for her to cheer up again, was it because he was still in a small amount of denial?

Robin didn't know what had happened to Luffy after the war, but she knew for certain that he had either not given himself a chance to grieve or those who were with him did not give him that chance. He would not be the way his is now if that were the case.

She knew that she needed to give him a chance to properly mourn the loss of his brother, away from the eyes of the others, and get him to open up to her, but how could she do that when she knew that it would cause him to suffer?

It only took a quick look at her captain for her to decide that she had no choice and that she would help shoulder his pain when it came. He was so broken and weak looking, two things she had never before affiliated with Luffy. He had always been more than whole and the strongest of them all. So it was with a heavy and burdened heart that Robin walked over to her shattered captain and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"It's a beautiful evening, isn't it, Captain?" she murmured and Luffy looked at her in surprise before a soft smile, one she had never seen before, spread across his face.

"Yeah. Shouldn't you be in bed, though?" he asked and Robin chuckled.

"I thought you had realized that I always take watch duty with you, Captain. I don't want you getting lonely," she teased, a smile gracing her own features. Luffy laughed and leaned against the railing, content to just stand with his nakama for a little while.

Robin looked at him and steadied herself. It was now or never, she supposed.

"Luffy...after the war, where did you go? Who were you with?" she asked quietly, pretending she didn't see his small flinch.

He didn't answer for a minute and she feared for a moment that he would push her away and refuse to talk to her any more for the rest of the night. Just when she opened her mouth to persuade him he needed to talk about it, he began talking.

"It doesn't really matter when I went, but I was with Rayleigh for the most part. Traffy was the one who saved me and he stayed there for awhile, but Rayleigh was the one who trained me and kept me from injuring myself," he whispered and Robin blinked. Out of everyone she had been expecting, Trafalgar Law and Rayleigh had not been at the top of her list.

"And did they let you mourn?" Robin asked, trying her hardest to keep her voice steady for the sake of her captain. He took a shuddering breath before he turned to her, a sort of desperation gleaming in his eyes.

"A little. I think he knew that if I thought about it too long, I would…" Luffy trailed off, unable to finish his sentence and Robin took the opportunity to wrap her captain in her warm embrace.

"It's okay, Captain. It's okay to cry now. Sometimes it's better if you let it all out," she assured him and suddenly he was clutching her, sobs wracking his lean body and tears cascading down his handsome face. She closed her eyes and let her own tears fall. It _hurt _to hear and see her captain like this but she knew it was needed.

"Let it out, Captain. Take as much time as you need," she whispered, stroking his hair gently. He collapsed into her and she softly brought them to the ground, murmuring words of comfort every few seconds as he continued to hold her as if she were his lifeline. And maybe she was.

It took nearly five hours for Luffy so relax and soften in her arms and Robin pulled back slightly when he did. His eyes were red and tear tracks covered his face, but no more were shed. He gave her a grateful smile and she felt her eyes soften.

"Do you feel better now, Captain?" she asked and he gave a short nod before he leaned into her again, liking the warmth and comfort she oozed.

"I know you don't want to, but will you tell me what happened, Captain?" she asked and he stiffened for a moment before letting out a sigh that was more of a sob.

"Okay...okay...Just...can we do it when the others are awake and I'm ready? I think you should all know…" he murmured and Robin smiled, relieved he wasn't putting up a fight. It would do them all good to hear the whole story. She gave him a small squeeze and jerked slightly when he pulled back.

"Of course we can, Captain. And I'll be with you the entire time," she assured him. "You've been so strong and I'm so proud of you," she said and a dark and strange light entered Luffy's eyes. She studied it nervously, not sure of what brought it forward.

"I'm not strong, Robin. Ace died because I was weak and I won't blame you, _any _of you, if you decide you don't want to be with me after I tell you guys everything. It might be for the best," Luffy whispered, stunning Robin beyond words. With that, Luffy stood and walked away, leaving Robin sitting there in shock and no small amount of pain.

"Oh, Captain," she murmured, eyes looking in the direction he had walked off in. Did he really believe they would abandon him, just because he thought he was weak? Tears sprung to her eyes as she recounted each incident Luffy had had over the past weeks, each injury he had inflicted onto himself, and she let out a sob of her own before she covered her mouth and stood. She walked to the railing and slumped against it before she let her tears fall and her thoughts loose.

It was her thoughts of death and Luffy's fears that destroyed Robin that night as she wept under the stars.


End file.
